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Old 07-20-2011, 01:26 PM
JLP JLP is offline
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Sometimes it's the little things that are important to people. Or sometimes when I'm going through a rough time and a friend shows up unexpectedly it means all the difference. I totally understand the gas thing, and taking time from family. But if she considers you a close friend I would try to go. Or try to time it so that you can be there towards the end of it and still spend time and maybe you can hang out at her house afterwards. I'm just sayin, that with me. I don't have many close friends. My feelings would be hurt if I considered you my best friend and you didn't show up. Just my 2 cents. My feelings are still hurt that my mom and dad have never been in the hospital with any of my babies and didn't go to my graduation. I guess it just depends on how serious she is about birthdays. I know people that take it very seriously.
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Old 07-20-2011, 01:47 PM
Karana Karana is offline
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Is it 3-hours ONE way or 3-hours ROUND TRIP?

For me, I would probably make the trip if it was 3-hours round trip. But 6-hours is asking an awful lot for an afternoon of swimming.

Since she's your best friend, I would be trying to come up with something else that we would both enjoy, and would be worth the long drive... even if it's just hanging out and chatting the day away.

Touch decision though!
-- Karen --

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Old 07-20-2011, 02:56 PM
spunkychic spunkychic is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 456

I agree with the fact that you won't get quality time with her if it's a big birthday bash. Could you stay a night and possibly go out to dinner later or hang out the next day sort of thing? If not, I would plan to go a couple days later and tell her you want to make a special trip up to spend the day and go shopping with her for her birthday. I bet she wouldn't care either way whether your there for her "party" or not, but would probably be way excited that you made such an effort for her for her birthday.
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Old 07-20-2011, 03:20 PM
LBK LBK is offline
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Bad friend? No way! Besides it is a surprise party put on by someone else! I would just decline the invite and call and set up a get together part way for you both! Then she gets two parties and you both enjoy the company! She will feel soooo loved!

If not, just recognize her birthday in your own way! Best Friends are awesome, they get who you are too!
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Old 07-20-2011, 04:14 PM
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shazbraz shazbraz is offline
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If it was in the same town I would without hesitation say suck it up and go anyway. But that is a long drive; I would absolutely not go. Take the money and use it to buy her a nice present instead.

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Old 07-20-2011, 05:07 PM
Shel Shel is offline
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I think a best friend would understand.
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:26 PM
denik258 denik258 is offline
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Originally Posted by Sine View Post
Some times we have to do things not because we like to do them but because it means so much to someone else.
I agree. That is what friends do.
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Old 07-21-2011, 06:46 AM
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Leggs Leggs is offline
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I guess I should have clarified: I don't think she'll really care whether I'm there or not. I'm wondering more about the general principle than her feelings because, as I said, I don't think it'll make much difference to her.
I have a billion typos, and it's because I'm almost always typing while breastfeeding a baby or having a large and unrelenting boy crawl around my lap and poke at the screen asking what the smilies mean. I've given up trying to type well.
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Old 07-21-2011, 02:50 PM
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MochaWolf MochaWolf is online now
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Originally Posted by Dori View Post
Not a horrible friend.
Do your own thing for her birthday.
I did the same thing for a former friend. (Former for a different reason) When we were friends, I took her out on a different day, because I didn't want anything to do with her "party" because I didn't like the people who were going to be there. We were friends since elementary school and the girls who were going to be there were from our mutual high school. I was 33 and had NO interest in having a reunion with people I didn't like at her birthday. So I apologized for not being able to be there and took her out privately a different day.

Just make your apologies for not being able to come, you dont have to site a reason, and then make arrangements to be with her another day.
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Old 07-21-2011, 03:24 PM
PureLuck27 PureLuck27 is offline
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My first thought was HECK NO! and then I read what you posted. lol It's still HECK NO. lol I love reading what you have to say
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